Current Mood.

My phone died forever three days ago and not one person besides my mother has really tried to contact me.

Get in touch and follow me on the following social media outlets:

Twitter - zackreese1

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Re-uploaded posts

There are a couple of posts that were Re-uploaded because I had to take out some nasty dialogue, that I simply couldn't have polluting my blog any longer. Any other hurtful things within the confines of this page, towards mostly anybody doesn't equate to how I feel any longer. A part of me accepting true happiness was to let go of many demons and grudges that I carried within myself. It's important to me that anybody hurt by any of my words can approach me about them and they need to know I don't care anymore and I will welcome anybody with open arms, if they'll have me. This I mean wholeheartedly.

One more thing that I find important to mention is that I will not be commenting on the physicality of my private relationships because frankly what I do and who with is not anybody's business besides those involved. It's a disrespect otherwise, it's too unfortunate we live in a time where others don't share these views. If I choose to share, I will. I believe I can attribute this thinking to my upbringing where speaking about anything "adult" was nonexistent.

Renaissance

Philosophically I've been playing around with a ton of ideas lately, I've been doing a ton of thinking. I've been thinking more about the now and more about myself everyday. I'm finally happy in my own skin, and I feel as if I belong. Yesterday, I went to the beach and while my friends were off playing volleyball, I came to a realization. I'm happy. I am truly, undeniably happy. I feel alive, and I feel free. I'm absolutely terrified for the semester to start.

Right now, I'm living alone. One of my favorite things has become grocery shopping. The simple act of shopping for food and things for the house have made me so happy.

Last night I took a bubble bath, and never have I felt manlier. You know, it's strange but as I relaxed in the steaming water, with my smooth jazz iTunes radio station, and pineapple and vanilla cake candles burning, I felt like a man. I felt like my own man.

This summer has changed my life. I just feel good all the time. Happy. Being on my own with my bills and working two jobs has been an incredible blessing that I will forever be grateful for. It's as if I was made for this life. I love being at work, because both of my jobs have shifted from places I have to go to, to places where I can be with friends, who care about me and understand me. It just so happens that I get paid while hanging out with these very special people. And one of the jobs happens to be in an office building downtown, which of course, I have only ever dreamed of, and have always desired.

I really feel like my own person, so much so that I'm a little terrified for my roommates to move back in, because no longer will it be my bathroom, my kitchen, or my hallway. It will be ours and I have to share again. Call it selfish, but it is the human condition.

I think I might be in love. And developing feelings for another. And another, and another. If you've ever read any of my posts, you know how I am. However, I would consider myself very much single right now. Im just having fun. Speaking of my previous posts, I want those to be seen as a chapter in a previous life of mine. I am NOT who I was a simple couple of months ago. This summer changed me. As I post more and more I hope that those reading can sympathize with my change and see that I really have come into my own. This is the new me. This post will begin a new chapter for Mr. Zack Reese. A chapter I am delighted and honored to share with anybody who would like to be a part of it, virtually or otherwise. I look forward to embarking on this journey and my ever-evolving and growing writing style.

At this point there are still a few more weeks of summer and I'm not going to make false or empty promises of posting more frequently, because that will come more gradually over time. Life has inspired me to pick up my pen again, or to type, rather. Life is beautiful, and I once again I am so blessed to be able to share it with you.

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The Archdaes Chronicles Book One: Cerberus Chapter 1 UNEDITED

Here is the first chapter of the novel I am currently working on! It's short but sweet! This excerpt is from book one of a new trilogy. Book One of the Archdaes Chronicles: Cerberus. This is unedited in it's original goodness, so please enjoy!

Yesterday

March 16, 2015

So, yesterday was one of the biggest days/holidays in Buffalo. It was the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Aka the day when all of us Buffalonians live up to our alcoholic name. Basically you start drinking as soon as you wake up in the morning and don't stop until that evening. I got fucked up. Just kidding. I was too terrified to get too drunk because I had to call into work.

And so it was. I pushed my way through a sea of green people and beer into a coffee shop and I made the call. My reasoning for not coming into work was as follows: my 17-year-old younger brother got arrested at the parade and I was on my way to rescue him because my mom was out of town with her boyfriend.  I mean that would explain the background noise right? That sounds convincing right? Whatever. They accepted my plea without any struggle. I do often tend to question the intelligence of the people around me.

I saw people I don't really converse with all too much and many I only see in passing at the bars or in Canada. People from high school. People from work. I embraced all of them. Literally. When I have enough alcohol in my system, I hug. I wish I would've got drunker. I wish I would've blacked out. I made really sexy eye contact with some select individuals and the sexual tension was evident.

Then I sat on my future roommates couch while dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads. I sat there and watched funny things until I felt sober enough to go home. I pulled one of my disappearing acts. I pulled one at the parade too. I think I often make myself dissappear to see if anyone notices. I make myself invisible to see who would come for me. Usually nobody does. It's in these times that I find new friends to spend a few minutes to hours with or to indulge me with booze/weed/cigarettes/cigars.

I think I had fun. No, I did but I don't know something was missing. I was expecting something life-changing and miraculous to happen. Well, a part of me was anyway. I'm in a constant internal struggle between wanting the mundane pleasures of life and wanting a movie plot to be my life.

Today my day consisted of my ride or die. ( Ding - ding - ding, if you guessed Morgan you are correct!) She wanted food when I got out of class (what else is new?) and I complied. I had an advisement meeting after my last class and I ended up there for an hour. Morgan hung out with my dog at my house that whole time. She was pissed and hungry, which is always a bad combination for a woman. We ended up at Panera Bread, and then Dairy Queen for free cone day. Then I had a meeting at my car dealership and I tried to sell my car but that didn't work out. Then Starbucks. It was so us, and it's been like a week and a half since we've had one of these days.

Today was as Monday as they get man.

I am alive. Really alive.

March 13, 2015

The last time you heard from me was about a month ago right? Maybe more? Anyways I suppose I should get you up to speed on what's been going on since my disappearance. In the last month and a half, I.have.changed. I don't just mean physically, but mentally. I am different than I used to be. I feel as if this may be why I haven't written in so long. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. Evidently, I am going to reveal my true identity within the contents of this post. Or at the very least I will reveal my first name out of fear of what could happen to me if I reveal everything. God I feel like Amy Elliot Dunne writing this. (Just finished reading Gone Girl, messed me up real good.)

In the last couple of months since the semester has begun, I have gotten fat again, (I think so, no one else does) was affected by a particularly nasty spell of SAD; (Literally sadness brought on by the winter - seasonal effective disorder) I have been kicking absolute ass at school, my grades are astronomical. I have become a quasi-alcoholic, depending on that drink every weekend to take the stress out of my life. I have borderline hooked up with randoms multiple times, including a guy (yes, you read that right) who was trying to get into my pants while I was blacked out, although I think he was too. If he wasn't he certainly acts like it, I've seen him the past two days on campus. I only know about the ordeal because I came to in the middle of him caressing my hand, and I promptly ran away. That story will most definitely be part of my lost files which I will write hopefully over spring break. What else has happened? Oh! I signed a lease on a house with two of my friends from school, and we all have a little bit of a bromance among the three of us. It's"adorkable." I move out and into my place April 1st. (April fools! Except not really, because it's actually happening.) I worry about myself this summer in the house alone most of the time because my roomies will be returning to their hometowns. I lived like a pilgrim for exactly 4 days when my phone met an unfortunate end. I got into a car accident and fled the scene, only to be followed and screamed at by an angry black woman. I turned down a cruise to Central America! Straight up backed out. My old friends have cut off complete contact with me, and oddly enough, I don't actually care. I have made so many new, real friends in the time since I last wrote, it's inconsequential. I have fallen in and out of love exactly three times, with two and a half people. I am out of shape. I have become the vice president of the PRSSA. I have tried transferring Target stores. (Jury's still out on that one) I am looking for other work opportunities. I now have a real-live Mohawk. (Mixed reviews on that one) I might be getting a new car today, I have been working diligently on my internship, with a bunch of incompetent fools. (I NEED a new one for the summer, preferably paid.) My eyes have stopped degrading. I came into a large sum of cash and promptly paid off most of my debts. I have begun to question myself and my motives, I've begun to see that I am special, to some degree. I am BRILLIANT. I am WITTY. I am WARM. (Another Gone Girl reference, I can't help myself, it's utterly haunting and phenomenal and stuck in my head.) I had a quiet nervous breakdown when I piled too much work onto myself. I'm fine now. I am calling into work Sunday in order to get drunk with my roommates at the St. Paddy's Day Parade. Who am I? My tastes have changed slightly, I like watching hockey and more stupid shows that the male population seem to like to watch without any plot line, or any effort put into the writing at all. I like bad Netflix movies. I like to sip a beer while watching these things. I am a man. I also finally know and understand what and who I want, and one of my lusts actually falls into the cliche of "been right in front of you the whole time." Fuck.

 I say I don't want to marry or have children but this is a lie. A cold painful lie. I want to be a good husband and father. I want the stupid dog, I want the white picket fence, I want to play catch with my kids. I want all that sappy shit. My shell has been cracked. I'm 255% more human than I have ever been and that scares the shit out of me. Drunk Zack (me) can attest to that. The me I am when I am drunk is vastly different from when I am sober. When sober I am cold, calculating, everything is my joke, the world is mine to laugh at. I think deeply before saying something. I think of every scenario and come up with back-up plans on the spot. I am a genius. When I am drunk or high,(I've been smoking lately again, weed and cigarettes.) I become weak. I can't stop words from rolling off of my tongue. I become a "hugger." I have allowed this trait to bleed into my actual life. I like being kind to people, I like human contact. I think depriving myself of it for so long has made me crave it all the more. I like both sides of me I decided, my friends agree. I'm pretty sure I know what direction my life is headed and I love that. There are some things I will not disclose on here, some things that must be kept to myself for the time being. I am a slut. In more ways then one. It is possible, you know. I will let you do what you will with that.

I have begun reading a new book every week. I am well-read. Who am I? You know, I continually bring up the theme of who I am, but the truth is I am me. I am Zack. I am finally happy. I am me. I am hungover and I am ecstatic. I am sure I've forgotten some things but these recollections will come back to me in time.

We'll talk soon.

Zack. (AKA John Doe)

Apologies

I'm not dead. I'm still here. So much has happened since my disappearance. I will bring you up to speed tonight. I am back. I'm sorry.

Happy Hour

Friday January 23

I was so stupid today. So stupid. Today was a very close friend's birthday and she (where did all my guy friends go?) turned 21. This particular friend of mine is my world traveler friend and she frequents Europe sometimes twice a year. As a matter of fact, she just came back from Europe about two weeks ago. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to go out for Mexican and although it was her birthday, I declined. It was like noon. No. She went with the wine girl from last night. (Small island) 

About two hours before I had to go to work she texted me to see what I was doing and I discovered she was laying on the couch at home. That's terrible and I told her we could hang out before I had to go to work because on my birthday I just laid around until she took me out for FroYo. I think a birthday should be over-celebrated, especially at our age. We went to the Falls because it was closer and she was going to a bar in Buffalo for a small get together later tonight. I had the bright idea of going back to the liquor supermarket and she bought her obligatory "I'm 21" bottle. I bought a little bottle of Hypnotiq. The same cashier was there and I was quick to avoid her line. After this we didn't have any idea of where to go, or what to do so another idea dawned on me. It was 5 o'clock and people always say "It's 5 o'clock somewhere." I put two and two together and blurted out "Let's go to happy hour!" "Don't you have work in an hour and a half?" She asked. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go!" was my response. So we went to this bar right by the bridge home and sat down at the bar and she ordered wine and I ordered a beer. A tall one. ---Fireball by Pitbull just came on my shuffle and although you can't see it I am jamming hard. Damn it now, Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Download these immediately and dance around your house/apartment/bedroom, I implore you. 

Then it was time for me to go to work. Problem was, I was tipsy. I drank that beer really fast AND it was huge. I could just tell that I had something in my system. I drove super carefully to work and walked in and giggled like a moron at everything that people were saying to me. One co-worker asked me "what's wrong with you?" And I replied "I just came back from happy hour." Giggling at the end and covering my face with one hand. She,with her bug mouth, told the other worker who was back there and they both gave me high fives. It was odd. I sobered up throughout my shift, and nobody else was none the wiser.

Fuck the Man-y

Thursday January 22

Oh my gosh, I didn't wake up until one this afternoon. That really sucks because I totally missed the morning which is when time still seems to be going slowest. I don't know, I just feel more productive in the morning. 

I decided to get dinner with the friend of mine who wanted me to buy her alcohol. Another friend of ours joined us as well, one who was also underaged. We went to this shabby little place on the Island and I hid my distaste for it pretty well. Afterwards came the awkward "can we go to the liquor store now?" question because I danced around the subject during the meal. Gracefully, I said yes and we headed to a liquor supermarket out in the Falls. 

I thought I would be buying these girls you know, something small maybe a bottle or two for school. I should've known that wouldn't be the case. I had a fifty dollar bill thrust into my hands and the girls went into this whole "thirty is for me, twenty is for her, use the whole thing." Kid you not, I laughed in their face at that point and asked "seriously?!" However, I am not one to back down from a challenge so it was on. They're young freshman in college so instead of tastefully telling me what they wanted they said in a broader sense that they wanted peach flavored vodka, as many bottles of white wine as possible, a bottle of pink wine, and cheap, small bottles of flavored vodka. THIS is a prime example of why I need more guy friends, all they want is beer. I walked into the store and walked out ten minutes later with bottles of Moscato, Riesling, peach Schnapps, peach Pinnacle, and some other bottle of liquor I can't remember right now. (Strawberry Smirnoff maybe?) That was about half of my allowance. (They told me to get all the cheapest bottles possible, resulting in a grimace from me. What I couldn't put together was how surprised they were with how much they had when they told me to go cheap.) I decided to be nice and took them to another liquor store downtown, by this point I was feeling put ballsy and "fuck the man-y." It was kind of a rush to be able to buy all of this liquor and only receive a look from the cashier who may be thinking that I may be an alcoholic. At the other liquor story, I bought them a bottle of pink Moscato, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, and another little liquor bottle. Bye, bye fifty bucks. 

Once I arrived back on the scene of the car, the girls had decided that they wanted to celebrate by going back to one of their houses and cracking open a bottle of wine. I decided to have one glass. We opened the Moscato and it was such a cool and regular atmosphere as we drank the wine and talked about an endless list of topics, that always somehow always came back to me and my half falling out with some of my friends. Eventually, the one girls boyfriend came home from his bowling league game. (I didn't know young people were into that stuff? That's cool.) Instantly, the mood of the room changed and became awkward and I tried to make conversation with him and he talked to me about how he's transferring to my school so we will see what becomes of that. Meanwhile, the girl who's boyfriend he wasn't was plastered on three glasses of wine and a shot of the Schnapps. I drove her home and she gratefully thanked me for the alcohol. I told her not to tell anybody where she got it. 

Musings

Saturday January 17

I worked a double today. It was so tiresome. The weird thing is it wasn't that bad, in fact, it was actually a nice change of pace to have something take over my whole day. That and the fact that I let my mind wander to really slutty places today. I made eye contact with a new love  interest that I have as of yesterday. It was steamy. Along with my two existing ones, work got really interesting during my later shift. I don't know if I'm wearing something that makes me smell like an aphrodisiac lately or something but all the attention is definitely appreciated. This may or may not complicate things once school starts next week and I'm back with last semester's whatever-we-are. 

I guess now we play the waiting game. I have a feeling this semester is gonna get me into some trouble. It's my first semester being 21, and the spring semesters tend to be a little more wild. I'm just so so so ready to go back. Oddly enough, I could also really go for some spaghetti right now. That sounds so delicious. It's definitely too late for me to be up right now after working for so long. I'm borderline delirious.  

Notes from my phone....

While I'm writing meticulously at Today's entry, well now yesterdays entry, I thought it'd be funny to put up some of the notes from my phone. They show just how over the place my mind is, and often if I don't write something down, I will forget it 100℅.

Jobs

Wednesday January 14

Today was a big day for little old me. I got engaged. No I'm totally kidding, I'm still super single. BUT it was a big day because I kinda sorta pushed my nonsensical anxiety issues to the back burner. Last week I got an email that "Jobsapalooza 2015" was just around the corner. That event was today. Basically it was a job fair at the Buffalo Marriott hotel, that's the hotel where all the big events that aren't in downtown Buffalo take place, it's also the hotel where visiting NFL teams generally stay. 

The event sounded like a great idea and I was so ready to go. I'm at that part of my college career where I need to start thinking past Target and try to snag as many internships as possible. I mean ideally I'm also looking for a job in my field that pays more than what I'm making now. Then today rolled around and I freaked out a little bit. I read through the program online, and saw all of the participating employers and what specific positions they were looking to fill. However, most of the positions being offered were in the more business or financial sectors. There were a few communications openings which of course is my specialty as a public relations and communication studies dual major. Those few were my goal. With my new haircut in tow, I discovered the wonders of hair gel for the first time post-shower. My hair didn't move at all, it was so cool, who knew? 

I left the house a little too early because of how excited I was, so I decided to stop by the mall and get sunglasses and earrings since it was sunny, like really sunny despite the whole 20 degrees thing and I can't hang on to a pair of earrings to save my life. You know, people really treat you differently when you're well dressed. I was dressed in a gray Canali suit jacket, (funny story, I looted that jacket out of the lost-and-found at my old job working laundry and housekeeping at a hotel by Niagara Falls, no way could I actually afford a jacket like that. Holy run on.) a blue plaid shirt from American Eagle, black slacks, and grey dress shoes with blue shoe laces. I was also wearing pink dress socks from Express and Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Those coupled with the faux diamond studs in my ears and my aviators had me feeling like I was in a movie. That was a lot of name dropping but it's only to stress my point that I felt good. That was until I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, five minutes to one o'clock, when the event was starting. My nerves got the better of me.

All that confidence I had a mere fifteen minutes earlier was flying out the window at a rapid pace. It diminished with every suited man or woman I saw leaving their car and trek across the parking lot to the hotel entrance. I called a friend of mine and informed them of my massive freak out and they told me just to leave. Gee thanks. I really don't know why I felt so small, I realize now because this was my first time stepping into the world of business at large. I texted my mom with my problems and she reassured me as best she could, God bless her and all she deals with, with all of my quirks. And of course as luck would have it, in the middle of our "textversation," my phone died. I was on my own. So I took a deep breath, looked in my rearview mirror and said "screw it, you're hot. Go in there and own this. Start your future." I fixed my tie and got out of my car resumes in hand. I don't know if you know this but job fairs are so awkward. Literally the employers just sit or stand at their respective tables and stare at you hopefully as you walk by. It's intimidating to be completely honest. In those few seconds of them staring I was afraid to make eye contact because that would lead to a conversation about a job that I'm not qualified for or a job that isn't within my passion. The few people who were looking for people in my field were not there when I was, and I can't say I was honestly that surprised, I mean my luck and everything. Overall, I lasted fifteen minutes before I was putting my sunglasses back on and walking the hell out of that hotel. I had enough. Was the entire endeavor unfruitful? Yes, but more importantly I proved to myself that I can go into a professional social setting alone and survive. I'm more adult than I ever have been. Besides, I was the hottest guy in there. Joking of course. Kind of. 

Today was also a big day because my baby brother Elijah turned 7! Good God almighty, he makes me feel old.  I remember the day I came home from school and there he was, those were my "emo" days. I remember them with so much distaste. He and I have come so far, and I'm not ashamed to say that he is one of my best friends. 

I was sent out to get balloons, and banners to hang around the house, whilst my mom made cupcakes for when Eli got home from school. I bought those pointy party hats too, because who doesn't love hats right? I even got my two teenage siblings AJ and Lauryn to wear the party hats for Eli. It was so unexpected because they're both in high school and so I definitely thought they would be "too cool" for the hats. I remember how much of an ass I was at that age. After the birthday boy got home we all went to Dave and Buster's for dinner and to play games. It was so fun for all five of us to actually enjoy being with one another and it is definitely going to be one of the highlights of this break for me.  

Stfu

Sunday January 11

Socially awkward people drive me insane. Of course, I have my own fits of social awkwardness, but it's not anything to the point of people openly disliking me for that specific trait. There's this woman at work, who is just really out there and over the busy Christmas season she was placed in electronics with me and my crew. I felt bad for the poor girl, we were all already established as a group and I almost felt like a male Plastic. (I'm looking at you Gretchen Wieners.) This girl brought everything upon herself though, and it was bad timing due to the stress of the holidays. In retail we refer to that time as "Hell on Earth." 

The big problem with this girl, Stephanie, was that she talked and talked and I definitely mentioned her before. She would talk over customers, butt into conversations and have random anxiety attacks that would leave her in tears. Now, if she hadn't already put all of her business out there, I wouldn't be doing so now. But she did, so there's that. I think she was just lonely so she always had to keep talking in the hopes that someone would listen. Some of us see therapists, others bring their shit to work. She told everybody her issues and let her emotional state become an impact on her work performance daily.

Apparently she showed multiple co-workers scars on her wrists from where she had cut herself due to the stress of her life. She's a mother of three. I just don't think that's responsible parenting. Like, what would your kids do without you, if you're attention seeking ways went awry? That's such a gamble with fate. She also explained to everyone that she was late for work one day because she was getting treated for lice. Um, ew. She had these highs and lows. According to her, she had these meltdowns because she was mixing depression and anxiety medications. And literally, I'm thinking, okay I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't mix fucking meds. 

Which brings me to today. She came to work early for the specific purpose of talking to someone, and lucky me I was taking my break at that exact moment, so I had to listen to it for 20 minutes. I recorded some of it and put it on Snapchat. I didn't feel bad about it either. I understand wanting to air your shit out, but there are times for that and specific people for that too. Everybody's situation is different but good Lord sister, get it together!  

Friends

Friday January 9 

I kind of miss my stupid friends. Usually during winter break, my old high school friends are up my ass sideways, and this break is different, there's zero communication. I have my daily dose of Morgan and friends from work but at this point that's pretty much the extent. Break fizzled out so quickly and I still have three weeks of it. I miss hanging out with my friends even though I talk a lot of shit about them, it's all out of love. Mostly. I mean, they are kind of lame and boring but sometimes you need that. It may also seem like I'm kind of blowing them off all the time, but that's only because I'm always busy doing something else when they want to hang, or I'm at Target. Or I actually am blowing them off because I'd rather do something more exciting like go to a bar, I can do that now. I miss my school friends, especially one in particular whom I met last semester and got extremely close to, extremely quickly. So close that I used to have this thing where I didn't really make physical contact with others, but he and I had this thing where we would play fight or he would wake me up for sleeping in class. He was a very touchy person and that kind of rubbed off on me. Get this, I can even hug other people now. Woah, progress.  We also had this thing where we could communicate strictly with eye contact and I've found that aside from him I can only do this with people I've known forever. Whatever, I don't know man. What I do know is that I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift's new song Blank Space, and I have been since the end of the semester about two weeks ago. That song and that video are everything. 

Passion

Wednesday January 7

Paris. It's one of many cities I'm planning to visit before I die. Paris was attacked by terrorists today and twelve people died. Twelve lives. I had no idea until I scrolled through my Twitter feed. When I started college, I was a journalism major, so I suppose my leftover instinct from that time period came out and I dug deep to learn all I could about these attacks. It was devastating. I mean, Paris is supposed to be the picturesque example of love and beauty right?

In lieu of that debacle, tonight at work something really cool happened. A middle aged woman who later told me her name was Laura came in looking for an SD card for her phone. I helped her with that and had to reassure her like seven times, no joke, that it was the right one for her. Then we got to talking and she started to tell me all about how she needs to card because she's a starting musician and she makes YouTube videos. So I did my usual over enthusiastic "wow that's so cool!" It seemed to me that the poor woman barely got complimented because she was elated from my compliments. So much so that she pulled out her phone and asked me if I had time to watch one of her videos. I said yes and I'm glad I did. This woman must be a musical savant or something. She told me that she can memorize pieces by ear, and play them on her keyboard within a couple times of hearing said song. She played this specific video and I was blown away, it was incredible and the way she looked in the video was something else. She was so into her music, so into her passion. It was what she loved to do, that much was evident. The song she played was absolutely gorgeous. After it was over, I was like bouncing with how good it was and I told her to keep it up, and how great it was and how I could tell that it was what she loved. She looked like she was ready to cry tears of joys. It made me happy to see somebody else so happy. I think I might've given Laura the wrong impression because I'm really into eye contact, and so five minutes later while I was fiddling with something on a shelf, she appeared out of nowhere and thanked me again, and kind of barked out her name, and said it was a pleasure meeting me, I kindly said that the pleasure was all mine. She lingered for a moment and I'm thinking, uh-oh she wants me to ask her out. And then, I thought, no way sister, wrong tree, you could be my mother. But she turned and left in a hurry. It was really bizarre, but I'm glad I met Laura. I hope she goes far with her passion.

Merry Christmas

Wow, I haven't been on here in forever. Finals kind of killed me this semester. The entire end of November was crazy with the freak snowstorm that crashed into WNY, and the entire first half of December was hectic with the end of the semester which led up to my 21st birthday. So much has happened between my last post and today including some tumultuous new activity in my love life. I'm torn between wanting something and someone and someone who could be good for me. I never seem to have much luck in the love department so here's hoping that in my 21st year my luck changes. Maybe if time allows and it should I'll update this blog on everything that's been going on with me since my last post. Now, however is not the time for that. It's only a half an hour left before Christmas is over and I'm so happy and filled with love for everything and everyone around me. I will not be a stranger this time, especially because I can write on this brand new iPad ;). 

Til next time,

    John Doe

Earlier Today......

LAST NIGHT - FIRST POST.

Okay so, my friend Peter contacted me earlier in the week and asked if I wanted to go to Union Bash with him and another couple friends and get drunk. Union Bash is an event that Buff State hosts during Homecoming and Family Weekend and so I was like okay sure! So last night rolls around and I was in class all day and earlier in one of my classes I had a friend of mine who lives on campus text me and she was like “let’s go to Union Bash.” So I filled her in on everything and we talked of how it would be “lame.” I had class until seven last night and the event started at eight. Peter texted me and asked what the plan was and I told him I was headed to my friend, Alicia’s dorm. So he headed there as well. Apparently he was coming alone as the other two friends didn't want to go. After he got lost and found his way to her building we all just hung out in her room with her three roommates and “shot the shit.” This is where the drinking began. 

As the alcohol is setting in we three finally simply decided to head to Union Bash, fashionably late. We got to the Union around 9:00 and stayed until about 9:15. We had said it was “lame-sauce,” which it totally was. In theory it was cool, with an inflatable obstacle course, mechanical “chicken wing,” (because of where we go to school of course) psychics, caricatures, and food. We stood in line for a photo booth and as people cut in line in front of us, Alicia finally broke down and said, let’s go to Bottoms Up which is a nightclub in the downtown Buffalo nightlife district. Alicia had a fake I.D. and Peter, who would be 21 in a month, and I, who would be 21 in 3 months, did not. Then she informed us that she and her roommates went every week and that Thursday nights are 18+. With this new goal in mind we set off towards Alicia’s dorm again. 

We got ready for the club in her room with the one roommate who decided to accompany us. Or rather, the girls got ready. Peter had on moccasins and I had on sweatpants. Total club wear yeah? Anyway taking a gamble and hoping they would let us in, despite looking like crap, we called a taxi. The taxi came almost an hour and a half late, finally arriving at 12:30 a.m. Katie, the roommate from Long Island, was fuming. Her accent was coming out thick and she kept on saying “no tip, no tip!” Anyways, in waiting for the taxi the alcohol kept on pouring itself into our cups and shot glasses. 

We finally arrived at the club and see directly behind us three guys that Peter, Alicia, and I went to high school with. It was then that Peter saw some guy smoking on the street asked me for a dollar and gave the guy the dollar to buy us two cigarettes. I am not a smoker, I promise; but if I’m drunk, that’s another story.  I think it was a little bit of a shock to see me smoking to my old colleagues because I did a very good job of hiding my “extracurricular habits” back-in-the-day. I portrayed myself as a goody two shoes. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am and was a good kid, but I just had a separate partying motive. I've grown up since then and last night was totally the first time since the semester began that I had even taken a sip of alcohol. That’s all beside the point. 

After waiting in the longest line ever, we pushed and shoved our way up to the bouncers who charged us an extra five dollar cover charge for whatever reason, and made it into the overcrowded club. Music blaring, good DJ, people’s good energy everywhere, I was in my element. Initially however, we decided to stay together as a group and pushed our way to the back together, where the bathrooms were. There was also the outside bar, which Peter and I gravitated towards. After doing generic club things, (dancing, looking important, flirting, laughing, etc.) Alicia finds me and says to me, “I’m going to Dan’s with his roommates.” Dan is Alicia’s boyfriend. Here’s the thing though: I LEFT MY PHONE AND MY CAR KEYS IN HER LOCKED ROOM. So as she hopping the fence and jumping into the cab this simple fact was hitting me and I screamed after her to no avail. Remembering that her roommate was still in the club, we just thought she would be able to let us in their building and give me my stuff. We couldn't find Katie and then decided to hang around the club for a few more minutes before heading out. 

Then on this very cold fall night in which I’m in a semi long sleeve tee shirt, and Peter is in a legitimate tee shirt, we have the bright idea to walk back to campus to save money on a taxi. The thing is, there is a very dangerous part of the city of Buffalo that we would have to walk through to get back. Luckily we knew where we were going after walking for close to fifteen minutes. Then about an hour later after stopping for 2 a.m. pizza, Peter and I walked past a bar and who do we see waving to us drunkenly? Katie the missing roommate. Bars close at 4 in Buffalo and so we just decided to wait for her back in her building. 

After finally making it back to school, we couldn't get into the dorm building as it is locked to all non-residents. So after knocking for five minutes and the desk attendant not responding, (she was asleep) this girl gets dropped off by her friends. This girl lives here, but of course she doesn't have her phone or her keys on her, why would she? That was the running theme last night apparently. After about two minutes, a girl in an over-sized tie-dye hoodie walked past the door and the girl with us started jumping up and down and screamed “that’s my roommate!” Following that, the tie-dye girl let us in, and so Peter and I took the elevator up to the fifth floor where Alicia lives. 

At this point it had to be 3:30 a.m. Instead of knocking on the door and facing the wrath of the two roommates still left in the room, we decided to sit outside and wait for either Katie or Alicia. In our state of mind we never thought that both girls would end up sleeping over their boyfriends houses. Minutes turned into hours and we ended up falling asleep in the common room on the couches. Finally Peter said: “Let’s go home. Come on we’ll figure out how to get your stuff tomorrow.” So Peter drove me home as I fell in and out of consciences. When I finally made it home, he said to me “Let’s do this again next week.” To this I started laughing and said “yeah, sure.” 

I woke up this morning with my contacts stuck to my eyes and they felt like burning holes of fire in my skull; and I typed the first half of this on my mother’s laptop because of course mine was still at Alicia’s dorm. At the end of the day, which ironically is now, I loved every minute of last night. It was quite the experience, and I’m happy to have been able to share it with you. I’m all about those crazy random moments that collect together to become this adventure we call life. I would like to share these adventures with people or even just post them here for myself. Stay Tuned!