One Day

So I thought of something therapeutic to do, and that is to make a list of ten things that you one day fully intentionally plan to do.  Try it, seriously, it's liberating.

One Day I'm gonna move away.
One Day I'm gonna run for office.
One Day I'm gonna be a dad.
One Day I'm gonna own a Fortune 500 company.
One Day I'm gonna see Europe.
One Day I'm gonna graduate from at least Grad School.
One Day I'm gonna direct a movie.
One Day I'm gonna drive a very nice car.
One Day I'm gonna be able to spend money recklessly.
One Day I'm gonna finish my book.

Extra: One Day I'm gonna love and be loved in return.

Teen Wolf Season 5 Midseason Finale

I was gonna post a review of last night's midseason finale of Teen Wolf but this sums it up pretty well. It's sad how far the show has fallen, like it literally is tragic because it was so good right around season 3 when the show peaked.

Teen Wolf: "Status Asthmaticus"

Last Five Songs Played on My Shuffle

5. Your Sword Versus My Dagger - Silverstein

4. I'm Ragin' - Bei Maejor (feat. Sammy Adams)

3. Heaven Nor Hell - Volbeat

2. In The Morning - J. Cole (feat. Drake)

1. Back to the Future (Theme Song) - John Williams

Yup, That's Me

Shameless. Zack Reese (@ZackReese1) | Twitter Zack Reese (@zackreese1) * Instagram photos and videos

                                                                

Aloneeeeeeeee

Might I just reiterate how single I am? I sat at home tonight alone like a lonely old man and fixed myself dinner, watched Big Brother and yelled at the TV as if the houseguests could hear me, and cleaned the house. Then the girls downstairs offered to share some of their weed with me and I turned them down. What even.   

Current Mood.

My phone died forever three days ago and not one person besides my mother has really tried to contact me.

7 Things Unique to Buffalo

Absolute;y obsessed with this article just give it a read.


7 Things That Are Uniquely Buffalo, Because There's More To This City Than Wings

More on This Soon!

Be on the lookout for more regarding this soon! ;)

I Am Old

I just sent an edible arrangement to my mom's office for her birthday today from my work computer. I am so old it's disgusting. On the card attached to the basket I told her that we should catch dinner some time next week since she'll be gone all weekend with her boyfriend. I am a fossil. Last weekend I stayed in and slept/"Netflixed" for 2 days. What. However, I have gone pretty hard for every weekend since summer began so it's only natural to hit a wall at some point, I suppose.

UPDATE: Mom just texted me. She's gushing over the edible arrangement, I did well! Now I'm just waiting for the obligatory Facebook post, moms love "the book." 

I BAKED A CAKE FOR THE FIRST TIME

Crazy

Summer really can seem like forever in comparison to the rest of the year. I feel like it's in it's own temporal loop or something. So much has happened this summer; it's probably one of my favorites ever! So many new memories and amazing moments. I shall dub Summer 2k15 as the Summer of New Experiences. So blessed to be alive and truly appreciate this precious time in my life.

Make it a great one!

How Much Does Personal Appearance Have to do with Perception?



Left - Before (with a slight shave)
Right - After



For the last two weeks, I've been conducting a little social experiment on how people perceive/treat you differently depending on aesthetic factors. In lamens terms, attractiveness. The experiment was conducte on my peers and customers at the Target store where I work in North Buffalo.

I have only been working in this Target store since April, due to transferring from the Niagara Falls Target store. Right around this time I decided to stop cutting my hair. I think I was going through a BoHo phase, or maybe I was just plain cheap, I couldn't tell you; the point is I had never had my hair short at my new store, I had also stopped shaving for the most part, and wore only my glasses, never contacts.



Two weeks ago, I buzzed off all of my lucious curls, and I decided to go the whole nine yards after receiving compliment after compliment on my hair. This led me to the creation of my hyptohesis, which was: the more effort I put into my appearence, the more likely people were going to A.) treat me abnormally and B.) customers would be more willing to buy things from me. The next day I showed up in a Target polo, tight khakis with a belt around my waist (typically I would wear khakis with some sag to them and no belt.), my earrings in, contacts in, chapstick on (making my lips look fuller and shinier in a "manish" way, and white Nike Air Sneakers (usually I would wear a pair of Nike running shoes). I shaved my unruly beard into something much more tame and not so long; just a thin chin strap to accent my face better. I also threw on a splash of cologne for good measure.

The response was instantaeneous. Over the course of the next week my co-workers were asking "where are your glasses?" There were also a ton of double takes from my peers and customer's alike. Some of my co-workers thought I was somebody else entirely or a new employee. The compliments and exclamations of disbelief kept on pouring in. Eye contact increased, people smiled upon laying eyes on me, and I have found that I was approached with questions more and more.

The other thing that I found insane was how different I felt. I felt confident. I found myself smiling for no reason, and I found myself flashing my teeth and teasing my co-workers and customers. I found myself flirting harder than I ever had with everyone. I used lines and winks that I didn't even know I had in me. I was bubbly, and now I realize I had become an independant variable, and an unexpected one at that.



I think the mixture of my confidence and people bolstering that confidence led to the biggest increase in my sales. People have begun buying things without question simply because I suggested it and smiled. I've also begun to get people to sign up for credit cards through Target which before my transformation, was almost impossible for me. I would just get a stoic "no" when I asked customers.

So in conclusion, it would appear that my hypothesis was spot-on despite the unexpected variable of my confidence increase, which I didn't even know I was suffering from a lack of. People treated me differently, smiling at me more, complimenting me more, hitting on me, flirting with me, and staring/talking to me longer than usual. My sales have also incresed ten-fold. Hell, yesterday I got a lady to buy an iPod Touch with four accsessories, and a replacement plan, and a couple to sign up for a credit card despite their reservations. People treat you better when you take care and groom yourself. People treat you better when you feel good and look good. People treat you better when you are confident in your own skin, and smile more often.

Making little changes in order to feel good about yourself can never steer you wrong. Have confidence and unleash it on the world! Let this experiment be a little indication on what you can do too!

Make it a great one!



Summer 2K15 Part 1

#flipagram #MajorLazer made with @flipagram . http://flipagram.com/f/a0W8vswxBV

Yesterday

March 16, 2015

So, yesterday was one of the biggest days/holidays in Buffalo. It was the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Aka the day when all of us Buffalonians live up to our alcoholic name. Basically you start drinking as soon as you wake up in the morning and don't stop until that evening. I got fucked up. Just kidding. I was too terrified to get too drunk because I had to call into work.

And so it was. I pushed my way through a sea of green people and beer into a coffee shop and I made the call. My reasoning for not coming into work was as follows: my 17-year-old younger brother got arrested at the parade and I was on my way to rescue him because my mom was out of town with her boyfriend.  I mean that would explain the background noise right? That sounds convincing right? Whatever. They accepted my plea without any struggle. I do often tend to question the intelligence of the people around me.

I saw people I don't really converse with all too much and many I only see in passing at the bars or in Canada. People from high school. People from work. I embraced all of them. Literally. When I have enough alcohol in my system, I hug. I wish I would've got drunker. I wish I would've blacked out. I made really sexy eye contact with some select individuals and the sexual tension was evident.

Then I sat on my future roommates couch while dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads. I sat there and watched funny things until I felt sober enough to go home. I pulled one of my disappearing acts. I pulled one at the parade too. I think I often make myself dissappear to see if anyone notices. I make myself invisible to see who would come for me. Usually nobody does. It's in these times that I find new friends to spend a few minutes to hours with or to indulge me with booze/weed/cigarettes/cigars.

I think I had fun. No, I did but I don't know something was missing. I was expecting something life-changing and miraculous to happen. Well, a part of me was anyway. I'm in a constant internal struggle between wanting the mundane pleasures of life and wanting a movie plot to be my life.

Today my day consisted of my ride or die. ( Ding - ding - ding, if you guessed Morgan you are correct!) She wanted food when I got out of class (what else is new?) and I complied. I had an advisement meeting after my last class and I ended up there for an hour. Morgan hung out with my dog at my house that whole time. She was pissed and hungry, which is always a bad combination for a woman. We ended up at Panera Bread, and then Dairy Queen for free cone day. Then I had a meeting at my car dealership and I tried to sell my car but that didn't work out. Then Starbucks. It was so us, and it's been like a week and a half since we've had one of these days.

Today was as Monday as they get man.

I am alive. Really alive.

March 13, 2015

The last time you heard from me was about a month ago right? Maybe more? Anyways I suppose I should get you up to speed on what's been going on since my disappearance. In the last month and a half, I.have.changed. I don't just mean physically, but mentally. I am different than I used to be. I feel as if this may be why I haven't written in so long. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. Evidently, I am going to reveal my true identity within the contents of this post. Or at the very least I will reveal my first name out of fear of what could happen to me if I reveal everything. God I feel like Amy Elliot Dunne writing this. (Just finished reading Gone Girl, messed me up real good.)

In the last couple of months since the semester has begun, I have gotten fat again, (I think so, no one else does) was affected by a particularly nasty spell of SAD; (Literally sadness brought on by the winter - seasonal effective disorder) I have been kicking absolute ass at school, my grades are astronomical. I have become a quasi-alcoholic, depending on that drink every weekend to take the stress out of my life. I have borderline hooked up with randoms multiple times, including a guy (yes, you read that right) who was trying to get into my pants while I was blacked out, although I think he was too. If he wasn't he certainly acts like it, I've seen him the past two days on campus. I only know about the ordeal because I came to in the middle of him caressing my hand, and I promptly ran away. That story will most definitely be part of my lost files which I will write hopefully over spring break. What else has happened? Oh! I signed a lease on a house with two of my friends from school, and we all have a little bit of a bromance among the three of us. It's"adorkable." I move out and into my place April 1st. (April fools! Except not really, because it's actually happening.) I worry about myself this summer in the house alone most of the time because my roomies will be returning to their hometowns. I lived like a pilgrim for exactly 4 days when my phone met an unfortunate end. I got into a car accident and fled the scene, only to be followed and screamed at by an angry black woman. I turned down a cruise to Central America! Straight up backed out. My old friends have cut off complete contact with me, and oddly enough, I don't actually care. I have made so many new, real friends in the time since I last wrote, it's inconsequential. I have fallen in and out of love exactly three times, with two and a half people. I am out of shape. I have become the vice president of the PRSSA. I have tried transferring Target stores. (Jury's still out on that one) I am looking for other work opportunities. I now have a real-live Mohawk. (Mixed reviews on that one) I might be getting a new car today, I have been working diligently on my internship, with a bunch of incompetent fools. (I NEED a new one for the summer, preferably paid.) My eyes have stopped degrading. I came into a large sum of cash and promptly paid off most of my debts. I have begun to question myself and my motives, I've begun to see that I am special, to some degree. I am BRILLIANT. I am WITTY. I am WARM. (Another Gone Girl reference, I can't help myself, it's utterly haunting and phenomenal and stuck in my head.) I had a quiet nervous breakdown when I piled too much work onto myself. I'm fine now. I am calling into work Sunday in order to get drunk with my roommates at the St. Paddy's Day Parade. Who am I? My tastes have changed slightly, I like watching hockey and more stupid shows that the male population seem to like to watch without any plot line, or any effort put into the writing at all. I like bad Netflix movies. I like to sip a beer while watching these things. I am a man. I also finally know and understand what and who I want, and one of my lusts actually falls into the cliche of "been right in front of you the whole time." Fuck.

 I say I don't want to marry or have children but this is a lie. A cold painful lie. I want to be a good husband and father. I want the stupid dog, I want the white picket fence, I want to play catch with my kids. I want all that sappy shit. My shell has been cracked. I'm 255% more human than I have ever been and that scares the shit out of me. Drunk Zack (me) can attest to that. The me I am when I am drunk is vastly different from when I am sober. When sober I am cold, calculating, everything is my joke, the world is mine to laugh at. I think deeply before saying something. I think of every scenario and come up with back-up plans on the spot. I am a genius. When I am drunk or high,(I've been smoking lately again, weed and cigarettes.) I become weak. I can't stop words from rolling off of my tongue. I become a "hugger." I have allowed this trait to bleed into my actual life. I like being kind to people, I like human contact. I think depriving myself of it for so long has made me crave it all the more. I like both sides of me I decided, my friends agree. I'm pretty sure I know what direction my life is headed and I love that. There are some things I will not disclose on here, some things that must be kept to myself for the time being. I am a slut. In more ways then one. It is possible, you know. I will let you do what you will with that.

I have begun reading a new book every week. I am well-read. Who am I? You know, I continually bring up the theme of who I am, but the truth is I am me. I am Zack. I am finally happy. I am me. I am hungover and I am ecstatic. I am sure I've forgotten some things but these recollections will come back to me in time.

We'll talk soon.

Zack. (AKA John Doe)

Dbhsskaaba

I'm drunk and I want to cry but I'm so happy fuck

Saturday Night and We in the Spot

Saturday January 24

Directly following Target tonight, I had a three hour production meeting for the company I am doing PR for: White Lion Studios. I had to go a pick up some guy on my way to the meeting because he doesn't have a car or something like that. I was skeptical because I don't like picking up strange men I don't know and riding with them to a meeting I don't know two shits about. For all I knew, I could've been walking into a swingers convention and held against my will. Not that I would be too opposed. They call me their PR intern, but I'm heading their PR efforts so I don't know we'll see. So I went to this guys house and sat outside for five minutes before texting the bossman and asking him if I should ring the doorbell to this strange house. He sent back yes. So I walked up to the house. No doorbell. Swell. I knocked and a very angry dog on the other side started barking at me. A man on the other side screamed at it and then cracked the door and said I'll be right out. His name was Marcelo and he had a strong and heavy Puerto Rican accent. He was nice, and noticeably older. It was just awkward. Then we couldn't find the meeting location. It was in a local restaurant that the company rented out for the meeting.  It was so hard to find, but we did find it eventually. Walking in the meeting was just starting and we introduced ourselves and I gave my piece on what I'm going to be doing with the company and blah blah blah. Then I found out that Marcelo was on my team in graphics and campaigning and I was kind of thankful I had the car ride to get to know him a little bit. We're meeting for coffee this week to discuss ideas. I can't discuss further what went on in the meeting because I signed a non-disclosure agreement. All I can say is that I am working on promoting a certain show that is currently in production.I like half of the company at this time. The other half are kind of out there, or too arrogant for me to handle at the moment. I zoned out way too much during the meeting, looking forward to what the night was going to bring me. 

Boy oh boy. I'm just going to get into it. Yesterday my world traveler friend told me about her birthday party tonight at a brand new night club in the Seneca Niagara Casino called Club Stir. She had a reserved table with bottle service and it was her and her friends from work. She invited me to come as well. Why would I say no to that? Why would anybody in their right mind?

I looked hot tonight. Like really hot. Like I would do me. I had on these tighter maroon-purple pants and white shirt with blue and grey polka dots and grey shoes with blue laces. My hair was gelled to perfection, contacts in, teeth shiny. I went to the casino and parked on the ramp around 11:15 p.m. I took a huge gulp of the Hypnotiq I bought yesterday and walked in. I walked like I owned the place. Blame the French liquor. I didn't even get ID'd to go onto the casino floor. I don't look that old. I met up with my friend who's party it was. (From this point on, I'm just going to use her first name: Katherine, because honestly she won't care, she's a bro.) 

And we went to the club which was actually an open floor club in the back corner of the casino floor, pretty cool. There was a woman and her band wailing out that horrid Meghan Trainor All About that Bass song. Walking to the entrance to the club we met up with half of the party group because the other hadn't shown up yet. We all made small talk and I was introduced to everybody. They were all mildly attractive. Then the second group came and joined us, and I was impressed that they were all pretty attractive as well. I'm being underwhelming. We were a HOT group, good Lord! 

We all entered the club and piled in to our round table, complete with reserved sign and all. Everyone was so welcoming to me, it was so nice. We all sat and critiqued the band for a little bit deciding we didn't like them. We started to occasionally yell jabs at them, which obviously got worse the drunker we got. The guys aside from me all started with beer, the girls with their fruity drinks, and then there was me. I ordered two shots of patron. They were disgusting. They went down so roughly and made me catch my breath. After that I ordered a beer. Two of the three other guys had already started drinking before we got there so we were at about the same level of "drunkeness." The girls were drunk quickly, of course. More beer and more liquor and we were all chatting and then Beyoncé started playing throughout the club, after the band had taken a break. The girls were gone, and just the four of us guys remained at the table, talking about sports, beer, vaginas, and checking out random girls around the bar. Funnily enough we were all singing along and dancing at the table too. Alcohol makes making friends so much easier. Then the one guy asked us if we wanted anything from the bar and I knew I was drunk already but I said "fuck it, I'll go with you!" The two of us went to the bar, not wanting to wait for the drink waitress who was assigned to our table and one of the girls came up and asked what we were doing, (I don't just standing at the bar, what do you think?) and we told her and she said she wanted a shot and next thing you know, the guy was buying shots for everyone as well as beer for us guys. He was cool. The shots were a super mixture of liquor that left it as a milky substance with a cinnamon undertone. It was delicious. We did that thing where the group puts all their shots in the middle of them and screams, it was awesome.  We all stayed on the dance floor from that point on, and it was the best time. Even after the shitty band came back out we still danced and went wild. As the night came to an end I realized I was still a little drunk, even after chugging two water bottles. After saying my goodbyes to everyone, I walked back towards the parking garage. I hope I see them all again. I actually liked them all so much. (The one guy tripped the other, and he literally just landed on the floor and got back up, it was so funny.) I sat in the driver's seat for five minutes staring at nothing before climbing into my backseat taking out my contacts, (I had my contact case and glasses in my jacket) and laying down. I woke up maybe 20 minutes later to a guy screaming from outside my car that I hit him and dented his car. He was the car parked in front of me. I literally sat up and stared at him, knowing I did no such thing, and he got in his car and drove away. By this point I was alright to drive home, so that's what I did. It was almost 4 a.m. when I walked into my house. Best night in weeks, hands down.

Happy Hour

Friday January 23

I was so stupid today. So stupid. Today was a very close friend's birthday and she (where did all my guy friends go?) turned 21. This particular friend of mine is my world traveler friend and she frequents Europe sometimes twice a year. As a matter of fact, she just came back from Europe about two weeks ago. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to go out for Mexican and although it was her birthday, I declined. It was like noon. No. She went with the wine girl from last night. (Small island) 

About two hours before I had to go to work she texted me to see what I was doing and I discovered she was laying on the couch at home. That's terrible and I told her we could hang out before I had to go to work because on my birthday I just laid around until she took me out for FroYo. I think a birthday should be over-celebrated, especially at our age. We went to the Falls because it was closer and she was going to a bar in Buffalo for a small get together later tonight. I had the bright idea of going back to the liquor supermarket and she bought her obligatory "I'm 21" bottle. I bought a little bottle of Hypnotiq. The same cashier was there and I was quick to avoid her line. After this we didn't have any idea of where to go, or what to do so another idea dawned on me. It was 5 o'clock and people always say "It's 5 o'clock somewhere." I put two and two together and blurted out "Let's go to happy hour!" "Don't you have work in an hour and a half?" She asked. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go!" was my response. So we went to this bar right by the bridge home and sat down at the bar and she ordered wine and I ordered a beer. A tall one. ---Fireball by Pitbull just came on my shuffle and although you can't see it I am jamming hard. Damn it now, Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Download these immediately and dance around your house/apartment/bedroom, I implore you. 

Then it was time for me to go to work. Problem was, I was tipsy. I drank that beer really fast AND it was huge. I could just tell that I had something in my system. I drove super carefully to work and walked in and giggled like a moron at everything that people were saying to me. One co-worker asked me "what's wrong with you?" And I replied "I just came back from happy hour." Giggling at the end and covering my face with one hand. She,with her bug mouth, told the other worker who was back there and they both gave me high fives. It was odd. I sobered up throughout my shift, and nobody else was none the wiser.

Fuck the Man-y

Thursday January 22

Oh my gosh, I didn't wake up until one this afternoon. That really sucks because I totally missed the morning which is when time still seems to be going slowest. I don't know, I just feel more productive in the morning. 

I decided to get dinner with the friend of mine who wanted me to buy her alcohol. Another friend of ours joined us as well, one who was also underaged. We went to this shabby little place on the Island and I hid my distaste for it pretty well. Afterwards came the awkward "can we go to the liquor store now?" question because I danced around the subject during the meal. Gracefully, I said yes and we headed to a liquor supermarket out in the Falls. 

I thought I would be buying these girls you know, something small maybe a bottle or two for school. I should've known that wouldn't be the case. I had a fifty dollar bill thrust into my hands and the girls went into this whole "thirty is for me, twenty is for her, use the whole thing." Kid you not, I laughed in their face at that point and asked "seriously?!" However, I am not one to back down from a challenge so it was on. They're young freshman in college so instead of tastefully telling me what they wanted they said in a broader sense that they wanted peach flavored vodka, as many bottles of white wine as possible, a bottle of pink wine, and cheap, small bottles of flavored vodka. THIS is a prime example of why I need more guy friends, all they want is beer. I walked into the store and walked out ten minutes later with bottles of Moscato, Riesling, peach Schnapps, peach Pinnacle, and some other bottle of liquor I can't remember right now. (Strawberry Smirnoff maybe?) That was about half of my allowance. (They told me to get all the cheapest bottles possible, resulting in a grimace from me. What I couldn't put together was how surprised they were with how much they had when they told me to go cheap.) I decided to be nice and took them to another liquor store downtown, by this point I was feeling put ballsy and "fuck the man-y." It was kind of a rush to be able to buy all of this liquor and only receive a look from the cashier who may be thinking that I may be an alcoholic. At the other liquor story, I bought them a bottle of pink Moscato, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, and another little liquor bottle. Bye, bye fifty bucks. 

Once I arrived back on the scene of the car, the girls had decided that they wanted to celebrate by going back to one of their houses and cracking open a bottle of wine. I decided to have one glass. We opened the Moscato and it was such a cool and regular atmosphere as we drank the wine and talked about an endless list of topics, that always somehow always came back to me and my half falling out with some of my friends. Eventually, the one girls boyfriend came home from his bowling league game. (I didn't know young people were into that stuff? That's cool.) Instantly, the mood of the room changed and became awkward and I tried to make conversation with him and he talked to me about how he's transferring to my school so we will see what becomes of that. Meanwhile, the girl who's boyfriend he wasn't was plastered on three glasses of wine and a shot of the Schnapps. I drove her home and she gratefully thanked me for the alcohol. I told her not to tell anybody where she got it.