I Am Old

I just sent an edible arrangement to my mom's office for her birthday today from my work computer. I am so old it's disgusting. On the card attached to the basket I told her that we should catch dinner some time next week since she'll be gone all weekend with her boyfriend. I am a fossil. Last weekend I stayed in and slept/"Netflixed" for 2 days. What. However, I have gone pretty hard for every weekend since summer began so it's only natural to hit a wall at some point, I suppose.

UPDATE: Mom just texted me. She's gushing over the edible arrangement, I did well! Now I'm just waiting for the obligatory Facebook post, moms love "the book." 

The Archdaes Chronicles Book One: Cerberus Chapter 1 UNEDITED

Here is the first chapter of the novel I am currently working on! It's short but sweet! This excerpt is from book one of a new trilogy. Book One of the Archdaes Chronicles: Cerberus. This is unedited in it's original goodness, so please enjoy!

Sprang Break Part 1

Wednesday March 25

Where oh where to begin? I'm soaring.  I cannot believe how neatly everything is falling into place for me. Of course I've really been putting forth the effort. That is what makes the difference.

Right now,  I'm in the barber shop listening to the funny barber shop conversation while I wait for my turn. I'm cutting off all of my hair.  Every time I come here, I swear I feel like I'm in the movie. It's so stereotypical but not in a bad way.

Spring Break has been wonderful to me so far. It started with a bang Friday night because right after class I started drinking. First, at a Mexican restaurant and then at the best house party I have been to in recent years. I even almost did coke!  It was so cool! Anyway, the party was for a friend of mine who is moving to Florida with her boyfriend.  It was their conjoined going away party and boy did I drink. Which of course was bad, because I was supposed to be the DD. (Oops, sorry not sorry. I had fun.) Morgan ended up driving me home but we'll get to that. I was supposed to be driven there with Morgan, but our ride bailed on us. So guess who had to drive? Me. When we got there, there was only a handful of people standing around talking. Soon the beers and the bottles of liquor were opened and the conversation grew more liquid and less awkward. Next thing you know it was a good ol' Grand Island reunion, as if we don't have enough of those every break. Nevertheless when we all get together it's always a good time. We are a clan of junior alcoholics who like loud music and sex. Without going into too many details because I don't entirely remember everything. (My mind was preoccupied with a bottle of tequila, beer, and pineapple jungle juice) And then apparently some of the guys busted out the weed and coke and in my drunken state all I wanted was to get more messed up. Didn't happen, which I'm fine with I guess. Really fun party though, I'm so happy I went because honestly I was nervous to see everyone again, but it was awesome. The only thing that sucked was that when Morgan drove us home she turned my headlights on and I always leave them on auto mode. So when I drove the 30 seconds from her house to mine in my intoxicated state I left my lights all until my battery died, unbeknownst to me. (I really shouldn't have even driven that far I was fucked. Like, super apology drunk saying "I'm so sorry" every 5 seconds although I had nothing to apologize for.) 

So when I went to leave for work the next morning, my car was dead. This led to an awkward moment with my mom's boyfriend that got me all fired up before work. Basically he was trying to tell me how to jump my car and was trying to help me even after I told him I knew what I was doing and that I'm fine. (in fact, he was the one who didn't know what he was doing) But he insisted on being out there and telling me I need a new battery when I knew a I needed was new cables. I took my mom's car to work when mine wouldn't charge. I bought a set of new cables and bada bing my car was guuchi. Then I took Morgan to an improv show done by a local improv theater that happens to be a client of mine for class. It was phenomenal. Back to the boyfriend though, I understand he was just trying to help but I am extremely independent and prideful and when I dismiss you, it simply means I need to do something alone.

Since then break has been all work and very minimal play which I'm fine with, I get a sick high off of working on my PR stuff. The day before break started I was approached by my internship boss to promote his new movie which is premiering next month and so I got an advanced screening of it, and you know it was actually pretty good! Then I was tasked with writing a news release and sending it off to news, radio, television stations, podcasts, the whole "shabang." On top of all this I'm working a 40 hour work week and I've decided to start working out again this week. So, so much for break.

Today for example,  I truly felt like an adult in the working world it was amazing and so liberating. I woke up, layed in bed and tried to figure out what I was gonna do today, played around on Tinder a little bit, (apparently my smile warrants the heart eyes emoji, who knew?) before one of my daily Morgan phone calls told me it was time to do something. So she came over I made coffee and she helped me work on who to call and who to appeal too. (She's a PR major too, and her last name starts with P and mine with R and so one day we will start our own firm called PR-PR. Who wouldn't want to hire a company with that name?! Get outta here.) It was so fun working together on something real. Then she left and I kept working, then I made a phone call to see how my transfer was coming along to no avail. Took a shower, scheduled an oil change, went to the bank and ended up at the barber shop. I had one goal in mind: cut it all off. Then I got back to work, contacted some more media outlets and went out for dinner with my family for my brother's 18th birthday. We went to this Italian restaurant and man was it good. While we were at dinner I was contacted by a local, really well-known radio personality who I scheduled an interview with and either I, or bossman will be talking on the show about the movie. The personality was a kindred spirit in that he also attended Buff State way back when for the same major and he sort of mentored me over the phone.  It was such an amazing phone conversation and he even said I did a great job. I am in the world and I am doing the damn thing. He said I can contact him anytime and I definitely will take him up on that offer he was awesome.

Today and really, this break, have been perfect. And it's only half done. I'm so excited to see what tomorrow brings. ( Schoolwork, Target, PR stuff)

Until then

Happy Hour

Friday January 23

I was so stupid today. So stupid. Today was a very close friend's birthday and she (where did all my guy friends go?) turned 21. This particular friend of mine is my world traveler friend and she frequents Europe sometimes twice a year. As a matter of fact, she just came back from Europe about two weeks ago. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to go out for Mexican and although it was her birthday, I declined. It was like noon. No. She went with the wine girl from last night. (Small island) 

About two hours before I had to go to work she texted me to see what I was doing and I discovered she was laying on the couch at home. That's terrible and I told her we could hang out before I had to go to work because on my birthday I just laid around until she took me out for FroYo. I think a birthday should be over-celebrated, especially at our age. We went to the Falls because it was closer and she was going to a bar in Buffalo for a small get together later tonight. I had the bright idea of going back to the liquor supermarket and she bought her obligatory "I'm 21" bottle. I bought a little bottle of Hypnotiq. The same cashier was there and I was quick to avoid her line. After this we didn't have any idea of where to go, or what to do so another idea dawned on me. It was 5 o'clock and people always say "It's 5 o'clock somewhere." I put two and two together and blurted out "Let's go to happy hour!" "Don't you have work in an hour and a half?" She asked. "Yeah, whatever. Let's go!" was my response. So we went to this bar right by the bridge home and sat down at the bar and she ordered wine and I ordered a beer. A tall one. ---Fireball by Pitbull just came on my shuffle and although you can't see it I am jamming hard. Damn it now, Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Download these immediately and dance around your house/apartment/bedroom, I implore you. 

Then it was time for me to go to work. Problem was, I was tipsy. I drank that beer really fast AND it was huge. I could just tell that I had something in my system. I drove super carefully to work and walked in and giggled like a moron at everything that people were saying to me. One co-worker asked me "what's wrong with you?" And I replied "I just came back from happy hour." Giggling at the end and covering my face with one hand. She,with her bug mouth, told the other worker who was back there and they both gave me high fives. It was odd. I sobered up throughout my shift, and nobody else was none the wiser.

Pre-Drunkness

Tuesday January 20

I was supposed to meet up with a friend for dinner this evening. That was until I blew her off. Here's the deal, said friend really only wants to hang out with me because of my age. She is  underage and she wanted me to buy her alcohol before she went back to school this weekend. So she doubled that by asking me to join her for dinner as well. Now, I don't care because number one: why would you ever say no to an opportunity to eat? And number two: I actually quite enjoy this friend and all of their wild stories, most of which are fabricated but they are entertaining nonetheless. So I had full intentions of going. Then Morgan called me and asked if I wanted to go out for Mexican with her and a couple of her friends. There's this local Mexican restaurant that is so delicious I can't even deal, and that was the place she Morgan wanted to go tonight. We also know at least half the staff because they are personal friends (a good portion we know from high school) and it's a great place to go because they don't charge us for everything, they give us discounts and a bunch of the staff come and sit with us and chit chat with their accents which I absolutely love. Going there over the years, the staff have become friends of ours and they all treat us like family. Unfortunately for my underaged friend, I had a taste for Mexican. I called my friend and asked if we could reschedule for Thursday when I'm off, but I am contemplating blowing her off again because although people did it for me, I don't know how I feel about buying for a an underaged person. My mom and her boyfriend spooked me because they said "It just takes one girl to tell the police where she got the bottle." Thanks guys.

The restaurant which is usually busy was dead. Only Morgan and I went because one of her friends had a work meeting or something so obviously that meant the other couldn't go right? I ordered a taco, a quesadilla, and a chimmy chonga. (I think that's how you spell it?) I ordered a mango margarita as well. Lemme tell you something about this margarita, it was huge, and they put so much tequila in it. It was strong. By the time I finished with it I felt that pre-drunk sensation. You know, that stupid giggly thing you get before you get belligerent. Then as a late birthday present they served me churros with vanilla ice cream. It was honestly so sweet and unexpected. And also free. Then came the sombreros, and next thing you know Morgan is having a photo shoot with a ton of the waiters and busboys, and I'm just laughing at the table, from my "pre-drunkness." I understand Spanish and I can speak it on the most basic level, so I cracking up when some of the busboys were talking about getting with Morgan after being prompted by our waitress who we have both known for years. She was completely oblivious. 

Mullets

Sunday January 18 - Monday January 19

Eli's birthday party was yesterday. He invited all the boys from his class and 8 of the 9 who RSVP'd showed up. It was a total success. He decided to have the party at Lasertron, and who knew that establishment was so good with parties? They were so organized and gave us so much free stuff. They had their shit together. Meanwhile, I was losing my shit because all of these little boys together were on another level. They were running around and screaming and so excited just to be there. I'm glad Eli had such a great time though. I just felt like an old man sitting there with my brother, sister, and Morgan. Some of the parents stuck around and one rubbed me the total wrong way. The one little boy's mother brought his sister too, which was tacky and she expected her daughter to be included in the party her son was invited to. Not only that but for whatever reason she kept on shooting the four of us older kids dirty looks. Okay she had a mullet. If you have a mullet, you have no right to be nasty to somebody else. I'm also pretty sure she was wearing Walmart brand clothes. Okay I'm done being a rude asshole now. But you get my point. She had a comment or made a face about everything that went on with the party and I wanted to confront her but it was not the time or place. Ungrateful, grotsky, little, beeyotch. (Yes, that is another Mean Girls reference) It was a fun get together though. 

Today was my laziest day in weeks. I laid around all day and played Xbox, read Andy's addicting words, and watched Netflix. I'm finally at that point of break where I'm so bored with life that I'm ready to move on. I'm also trying to save money because I'm a little teensy bit behind on my car bill. Oopsie. I also ate a ton today and hung with my siblings. Super lazy MLK Day. 

Jobs

Wednesday January 14

Today was a big day for little old me. I got engaged. No I'm totally kidding, I'm still super single. BUT it was a big day because I kinda sorta pushed my nonsensical anxiety issues to the back burner. Last week I got an email that "Jobsapalooza 2015" was just around the corner. That event was today. Basically it was a job fair at the Buffalo Marriott hotel, that's the hotel where all the big events that aren't in downtown Buffalo take place, it's also the hotel where visiting NFL teams generally stay. 

The event sounded like a great idea and I was so ready to go. I'm at that part of my college career where I need to start thinking past Target and try to snag as many internships as possible. I mean ideally I'm also looking for a job in my field that pays more than what I'm making now. Then today rolled around and I freaked out a little bit. I read through the program online, and saw all of the participating employers and what specific positions they were looking to fill. However, most of the positions being offered were in the more business or financial sectors. There were a few communications openings which of course is my specialty as a public relations and communication studies dual major. Those few were my goal. With my new haircut in tow, I discovered the wonders of hair gel for the first time post-shower. My hair didn't move at all, it was so cool, who knew? 

I left the house a little too early because of how excited I was, so I decided to stop by the mall and get sunglasses and earrings since it was sunny, like really sunny despite the whole 20 degrees thing and I can't hang on to a pair of earrings to save my life. You know, people really treat you differently when you're well dressed. I was dressed in a gray Canali suit jacket, (funny story, I looted that jacket out of the lost-and-found at my old job working laundry and housekeeping at a hotel by Niagara Falls, no way could I actually afford a jacket like that. Holy run on.) a blue plaid shirt from American Eagle, black slacks, and grey dress shoes with blue shoe laces. I was also wearing pink dress socks from Express and Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Those coupled with the faux diamond studs in my ears and my aviators had me feeling like I was in a movie. That was a lot of name dropping but it's only to stress my point that I felt good. That was until I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, five minutes to one o'clock, when the event was starting. My nerves got the better of me.

All that confidence I had a mere fifteen minutes earlier was flying out the window at a rapid pace. It diminished with every suited man or woman I saw leaving their car and trek across the parking lot to the hotel entrance. I called a friend of mine and informed them of my massive freak out and they told me just to leave. Gee thanks. I really don't know why I felt so small, I realize now because this was my first time stepping into the world of business at large. I texted my mom with my problems and she reassured me as best she could, God bless her and all she deals with, with all of my quirks. And of course as luck would have it, in the middle of our "textversation," my phone died. I was on my own. So I took a deep breath, looked in my rearview mirror and said "screw it, you're hot. Go in there and own this. Start your future." I fixed my tie and got out of my car resumes in hand. I don't know if you know this but job fairs are so awkward. Literally the employers just sit or stand at their respective tables and stare at you hopefully as you walk by. It's intimidating to be completely honest. In those few seconds of them staring I was afraid to make eye contact because that would lead to a conversation about a job that I'm not qualified for or a job that isn't within my passion. The few people who were looking for people in my field were not there when I was, and I can't say I was honestly that surprised, I mean my luck and everything. Overall, I lasted fifteen minutes before I was putting my sunglasses back on and walking the hell out of that hotel. I had enough. Was the entire endeavor unfruitful? Yes, but more importantly I proved to myself that I can go into a professional social setting alone and survive. I'm more adult than I ever have been. Besides, I was the hottest guy in there. Joking of course. Kind of. 

Today was also a big day because my baby brother Elijah turned 7! Good God almighty, he makes me feel old.  I remember the day I came home from school and there he was, those were my "emo" days. I remember them with so much distaste. He and I have come so far, and I'm not ashamed to say that he is one of my best friends. 

I was sent out to get balloons, and banners to hang around the house, whilst my mom made cupcakes for when Eli got home from school. I bought those pointy party hats too, because who doesn't love hats right? I even got my two teenage siblings AJ and Lauryn to wear the party hats for Eli. It was so unexpected because they're both in high school and so I definitely thought they would be "too cool" for the hats. I remember how much of an ass I was at that age. After the birthday boy got home we all went to Dave and Buster's for dinner and to play games. It was so fun for all five of us to actually enjoy being with one another and it is definitely going to be one of the highlights of this break for me.  

Merry Christmas

Wow, I haven't been on here in forever. Finals kind of killed me this semester. The entire end of November was crazy with the freak snowstorm that crashed into WNY, and the entire first half of December was hectic with the end of the semester which led up to my 21st birthday. So much has happened between my last post and today including some tumultuous new activity in my love life. I'm torn between wanting something and someone and someone who could be good for me. I never seem to have much luck in the love department so here's hoping that in my 21st year my luck changes. Maybe if time allows and it should I'll update this blog on everything that's been going on with me since my last post. Now, however is not the time for that. It's only a half an hour left before Christmas is over and I'm so happy and filled with love for everything and everyone around me. I will not be a stranger this time, especially because I can write on this brand new iPad ;). 

Til next time,

    John Doe