First Day Back

Monday January 26

I like the first day of classes for as many reasons as I hate it. I like it because I usually look sexy, classes are super quick and I get to see who I'll be working with for the next four and a half months. I hate it because I hate the whole introduction/syllabus reading thing, (I'd rather jump into it) I don't like when I know anybody in my classes, and I can't stand how boring it is.

My first class was at 8 a.m. so in order to get there on time and beat traffic I had to wake up at 6:30. It was miserable, especially because I couldn't sleep the night before, like I predicted. My first two classes are totally real world applications. What I mean by that is that I get two clients that I have to do PR work for. I could get into the details, but that's tiresome. Basically, I get these clients one given to me for my first class, (ComedySportz Buffalo) again non-disclosure, and one I get to choose with a group in my second class.  It's riveting because I'm so close to the end I can taste it. 

My third class is a basic computer class I'm taking because last semester my advisor told me to take a bird course. I knew a kid in there who graduated two years after me, and I've only spoken to him a handful of times. I feel bad for not sitting next to him, or on his side of the room.  I didn't know anyone in my first class and only a handful in my second class. It wasn't what I was expecting. Then again, the rest of my usual colleagues are still juniors. I could write about all the awkward   "Hello, my name is _______"  and the stupid ice breakers, but I really don't feel like reliving that awkward mess. Slay me. 

Lazy Sunday

Sunday January 25

I finally begin my senior year tomorrow. It's so surreal that this time next year I will be done with undergrad and out there fighting with the rest of corporate America. I spent today mentally preparing my self and getting everything ready at my desk at home, while sleeping off last night and just having a lazy Sunday. It was perfect, despite the fact that I never had hangovers before I turned 21 and now that isn't the case anymore. I'm always nervous before my first day of classes, and I can't sleep well the night before. Ever. I just hope there are cool people in my classes tomorrow, so that I'm not on an iceberg floating alone.  

Notes from my phone....

While I'm writing meticulously at Today's entry, well now yesterdays entry, I thought it'd be funny to put up some of the notes from my phone. They show just how over the place my mind is, and often if I don't write something down, I will forget it 100℅.

Jobs

Wednesday January 14

Today was a big day for little old me. I got engaged. No I'm totally kidding, I'm still super single. BUT it was a big day because I kinda sorta pushed my nonsensical anxiety issues to the back burner. Last week I got an email that "Jobsapalooza 2015" was just around the corner. That event was today. Basically it was a job fair at the Buffalo Marriott hotel, that's the hotel where all the big events that aren't in downtown Buffalo take place, it's also the hotel where visiting NFL teams generally stay. 

The event sounded like a great idea and I was so ready to go. I'm at that part of my college career where I need to start thinking past Target and try to snag as many internships as possible. I mean ideally I'm also looking for a job in my field that pays more than what I'm making now. Then today rolled around and I freaked out a little bit. I read through the program online, and saw all of the participating employers and what specific positions they were looking to fill. However, most of the positions being offered were in the more business or financial sectors. There were a few communications openings which of course is my specialty as a public relations and communication studies dual major. Those few were my goal. With my new haircut in tow, I discovered the wonders of hair gel for the first time post-shower. My hair didn't move at all, it was so cool, who knew? 

I left the house a little too early because of how excited I was, so I decided to stop by the mall and get sunglasses and earrings since it was sunny, like really sunny despite the whole 20 degrees thing and I can't hang on to a pair of earrings to save my life. You know, people really treat you differently when you're well dressed. I was dressed in a gray Canali suit jacket, (funny story, I looted that jacket out of the lost-and-found at my old job working laundry and housekeeping at a hotel by Niagara Falls, no way could I actually afford a jacket like that. Holy run on.) a blue plaid shirt from American Eagle, black slacks, and grey dress shoes with blue shoe laces. I was also wearing pink dress socks from Express and Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Those coupled with the faux diamond studs in my ears and my aviators had me feeling like I was in a movie. That was a lot of name dropping but it's only to stress my point that I felt good. That was until I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, five minutes to one o'clock, when the event was starting. My nerves got the better of me.

All that confidence I had a mere fifteen minutes earlier was flying out the window at a rapid pace. It diminished with every suited man or woman I saw leaving their car and trek across the parking lot to the hotel entrance. I called a friend of mine and informed them of my massive freak out and they told me just to leave. Gee thanks. I really don't know why I felt so small, I realize now because this was my first time stepping into the world of business at large. I texted my mom with my problems and she reassured me as best she could, God bless her and all she deals with, with all of my quirks. And of course as luck would have it, in the middle of our "textversation," my phone died. I was on my own. So I took a deep breath, looked in my rearview mirror and said "screw it, you're hot. Go in there and own this. Start your future." I fixed my tie and got out of my car resumes in hand. I don't know if you know this but job fairs are so awkward. Literally the employers just sit or stand at their respective tables and stare at you hopefully as you walk by. It's intimidating to be completely honest. In those few seconds of them staring I was afraid to make eye contact because that would lead to a conversation about a job that I'm not qualified for or a job that isn't within my passion. The few people who were looking for people in my field were not there when I was, and I can't say I was honestly that surprised, I mean my luck and everything. Overall, I lasted fifteen minutes before I was putting my sunglasses back on and walking the hell out of that hotel. I had enough. Was the entire endeavor unfruitful? Yes, but more importantly I proved to myself that I can go into a professional social setting alone and survive. I'm more adult than I ever have been. Besides, I was the hottest guy in there. Joking of course. Kind of. 

Today was also a big day because my baby brother Elijah turned 7! Good God almighty, he makes me feel old.  I remember the day I came home from school and there he was, those were my "emo" days. I remember them with so much distaste. He and I have come so far, and I'm not ashamed to say that he is one of my best friends. 

I was sent out to get balloons, and banners to hang around the house, whilst my mom made cupcakes for when Eli got home from school. I bought those pointy party hats too, because who doesn't love hats right? I even got my two teenage siblings AJ and Lauryn to wear the party hats for Eli. It was so unexpected because they're both in high school and so I definitely thought they would be "too cool" for the hats. I remember how much of an ass I was at that age. After the birthday boy got home we all went to Dave and Buster's for dinner and to play games. It was so fun for all five of us to actually enjoy being with one another and it is definitely going to be one of the highlights of this break for me.  

Stfu

Sunday January 11

Socially awkward people drive me insane. Of course, I have my own fits of social awkwardness, but it's not anything to the point of people openly disliking me for that specific trait. There's this woman at work, who is just really out there and over the busy Christmas season she was placed in electronics with me and my crew. I felt bad for the poor girl, we were all already established as a group and I almost felt like a male Plastic. (I'm looking at you Gretchen Wieners.) This girl brought everything upon herself though, and it was bad timing due to the stress of the holidays. In retail we refer to that time as "Hell on Earth." 

The big problem with this girl, Stephanie, was that she talked and talked and I definitely mentioned her before. She would talk over customers, butt into conversations and have random anxiety attacks that would leave her in tears. Now, if she hadn't already put all of her business out there, I wouldn't be doing so now. But she did, so there's that. I think she was just lonely so she always had to keep talking in the hopes that someone would listen. Some of us see therapists, others bring their shit to work. She told everybody her issues and let her emotional state become an impact on her work performance daily.

Apparently she showed multiple co-workers scars on her wrists from where she had cut herself due to the stress of her life. She's a mother of three. I just don't think that's responsible parenting. Like, what would your kids do without you, if you're attention seeking ways went awry? That's such a gamble with fate. She also explained to everyone that she was late for work one day because she was getting treated for lice. Um, ew. She had these highs and lows. According to her, she had these meltdowns because she was mixing depression and anxiety medications. And literally, I'm thinking, okay I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't mix fucking meds. 

Which brings me to today. She came to work early for the specific purpose of talking to someone, and lucky me I was taking my break at that exact moment, so I had to listen to it for 20 minutes. I recorded some of it and put it on Snapchat. I didn't feel bad about it either. I understand wanting to air your shit out, but there are times for that and specific people for that too. Everybody's situation is different but good Lord sister, get it together!  

LAST NIGHT - FIRST POST.

Okay so, my friend Peter contacted me earlier in the week and asked if I wanted to go to Union Bash with him and another couple friends and get drunk. Union Bash is an event that Buff State hosts during Homecoming and Family Weekend and so I was like okay sure! So last night rolls around and I was in class all day and earlier in one of my classes I had a friend of mine who lives on campus text me and she was like “let’s go to Union Bash.” So I filled her in on everything and we talked of how it would be “lame.” I had class until seven last night and the event started at eight. Peter texted me and asked what the plan was and I told him I was headed to my friend, Alicia’s dorm. So he headed there as well. Apparently he was coming alone as the other two friends didn't want to go. After he got lost and found his way to her building we all just hung out in her room with her three roommates and “shot the shit.” This is where the drinking began. 

As the alcohol is setting in we three finally simply decided to head to Union Bash, fashionably late. We got to the Union around 9:00 and stayed until about 9:15. We had said it was “lame-sauce,” which it totally was. In theory it was cool, with an inflatable obstacle course, mechanical “chicken wing,” (because of where we go to school of course) psychics, caricatures, and food. We stood in line for a photo booth and as people cut in line in front of us, Alicia finally broke down and said, let’s go to Bottoms Up which is a nightclub in the downtown Buffalo nightlife district. Alicia had a fake I.D. and Peter, who would be 21 in a month, and I, who would be 21 in 3 months, did not. Then she informed us that she and her roommates went every week and that Thursday nights are 18+. With this new goal in mind we set off towards Alicia’s dorm again. 

We got ready for the club in her room with the one roommate who decided to accompany us. Or rather, the girls got ready. Peter had on moccasins and I had on sweatpants. Total club wear yeah? Anyway taking a gamble and hoping they would let us in, despite looking like crap, we called a taxi. The taxi came almost an hour and a half late, finally arriving at 12:30 a.m. Katie, the roommate from Long Island, was fuming. Her accent was coming out thick and she kept on saying “no tip, no tip!” Anyways, in waiting for the taxi the alcohol kept on pouring itself into our cups and shot glasses. 

We finally arrived at the club and see directly behind us three guys that Peter, Alicia, and I went to high school with. It was then that Peter saw some guy smoking on the street asked me for a dollar and gave the guy the dollar to buy us two cigarettes. I am not a smoker, I promise; but if I’m drunk, that’s another story.  I think it was a little bit of a shock to see me smoking to my old colleagues because I did a very good job of hiding my “extracurricular habits” back-in-the-day. I portrayed myself as a goody two shoes. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am and was a good kid, but I just had a separate partying motive. I've grown up since then and last night was totally the first time since the semester began that I had even taken a sip of alcohol. That’s all beside the point. 

After waiting in the longest line ever, we pushed and shoved our way up to the bouncers who charged us an extra five dollar cover charge for whatever reason, and made it into the overcrowded club. Music blaring, good DJ, people’s good energy everywhere, I was in my element. Initially however, we decided to stay together as a group and pushed our way to the back together, where the bathrooms were. There was also the outside bar, which Peter and I gravitated towards. After doing generic club things, (dancing, looking important, flirting, laughing, etc.) Alicia finds me and says to me, “I’m going to Dan’s with his roommates.” Dan is Alicia’s boyfriend. Here’s the thing though: I LEFT MY PHONE AND MY CAR KEYS IN HER LOCKED ROOM. So as she hopping the fence and jumping into the cab this simple fact was hitting me and I screamed after her to no avail. Remembering that her roommate was still in the club, we just thought she would be able to let us in their building and give me my stuff. We couldn't find Katie and then decided to hang around the club for a few more minutes before heading out. 

Then on this very cold fall night in which I’m in a semi long sleeve tee shirt, and Peter is in a legitimate tee shirt, we have the bright idea to walk back to campus to save money on a taxi. The thing is, there is a very dangerous part of the city of Buffalo that we would have to walk through to get back. Luckily we knew where we were going after walking for close to fifteen minutes. Then about an hour later after stopping for 2 a.m. pizza, Peter and I walked past a bar and who do we see waving to us drunkenly? Katie the missing roommate. Bars close at 4 in Buffalo and so we just decided to wait for her back in her building. 

After finally making it back to school, we couldn't get into the dorm building as it is locked to all non-residents. So after knocking for five minutes and the desk attendant not responding, (she was asleep) this girl gets dropped off by her friends. This girl lives here, but of course she doesn't have her phone or her keys on her, why would she? That was the running theme last night apparently. After about two minutes, a girl in an over-sized tie-dye hoodie walked past the door and the girl with us started jumping up and down and screamed “that’s my roommate!” Following that, the tie-dye girl let us in, and so Peter and I took the elevator up to the fifth floor where Alicia lives. 

At this point it had to be 3:30 a.m. Instead of knocking on the door and facing the wrath of the two roommates still left in the room, we decided to sit outside and wait for either Katie or Alicia. In our state of mind we never thought that both girls would end up sleeping over their boyfriends houses. Minutes turned into hours and we ended up falling asleep in the common room on the couches. Finally Peter said: “Let’s go home. Come on we’ll figure out how to get your stuff tomorrow.” So Peter drove me home as I fell in and out of consciences. When I finally made it home, he said to me “Let’s do this again next week.” To this I started laughing and said “yeah, sure.” 

I woke up this morning with my contacts stuck to my eyes and they felt like burning holes of fire in my skull; and I typed the first half of this on my mother’s laptop because of course mine was still at Alicia’s dorm. At the end of the day, which ironically is now, I loved every minute of last night. It was quite the experience, and I’m happy to have been able to share it with you. I’m all about those crazy random moments that collect together to become this adventure we call life. I would like to share these adventures with people or even just post them here for myself. Stay Tuned!