Confession

I didn't put this in the High School Post. Thought now was the right time.

Saturday Night and We in the Spot

Saturday January 24

Directly following Target tonight, I had a three hour production meeting for the company I am doing PR for: White Lion Studios. I had to go a pick up some guy on my way to the meeting because he doesn't have a car or something like that. I was skeptical because I don't like picking up strange men I don't know and riding with them to a meeting I don't know two shits about. For all I knew, I could've been walking into a swingers convention and held against my will. Not that I would be too opposed. They call me their PR intern, but I'm heading their PR efforts so I don't know we'll see. So I went to this guys house and sat outside for five minutes before texting the bossman and asking him if I should ring the doorbell to this strange house. He sent back yes. So I walked up to the house. No doorbell. Swell. I knocked and a very angry dog on the other side started barking at me. A man on the other side screamed at it and then cracked the door and said I'll be right out. His name was Marcelo and he had a strong and heavy Puerto Rican accent. He was nice, and noticeably older. It was just awkward. Then we couldn't find the meeting location. It was in a local restaurant that the company rented out for the meeting.  It was so hard to find, but we did find it eventually. Walking in the meeting was just starting and we introduced ourselves and I gave my piece on what I'm going to be doing with the company and blah blah blah. Then I found out that Marcelo was on my team in graphics and campaigning and I was kind of thankful I had the car ride to get to know him a little bit. We're meeting for coffee this week to discuss ideas. I can't discuss further what went on in the meeting because I signed a non-disclosure agreement. All I can say is that I am working on promoting a certain show that is currently in production.I like half of the company at this time. The other half are kind of out there, or too arrogant for me to handle at the moment. I zoned out way too much during the meeting, looking forward to what the night was going to bring me. 

Boy oh boy. I'm just going to get into it. Yesterday my world traveler friend told me about her birthday party tonight at a brand new night club in the Seneca Niagara Casino called Club Stir. She had a reserved table with bottle service and it was her and her friends from work. She invited me to come as well. Why would I say no to that? Why would anybody in their right mind?

I looked hot tonight. Like really hot. Like I would do me. I had on these tighter maroon-purple pants and white shirt with blue and grey polka dots and grey shoes with blue laces. My hair was gelled to perfection, contacts in, teeth shiny. I went to the casino and parked on the ramp around 11:15 p.m. I took a huge gulp of the Hypnotiq I bought yesterday and walked in. I walked like I owned the place. Blame the French liquor. I didn't even get ID'd to go onto the casino floor. I don't look that old. I met up with my friend who's party it was. (From this point on, I'm just going to use her first name: Katherine, because honestly she won't care, she's a bro.) 

And we went to the club which was actually an open floor club in the back corner of the casino floor, pretty cool. There was a woman and her band wailing out that horrid Meghan Trainor All About that Bass song. Walking to the entrance to the club we met up with half of the party group because the other hadn't shown up yet. We all made small talk and I was introduced to everybody. They were all mildly attractive. Then the second group came and joined us, and I was impressed that they were all pretty attractive as well. I'm being underwhelming. We were a HOT group, good Lord! 

We all entered the club and piled in to our round table, complete with reserved sign and all. Everyone was so welcoming to me, it was so nice. We all sat and critiqued the band for a little bit deciding we didn't like them. We started to occasionally yell jabs at them, which obviously got worse the drunker we got. The guys aside from me all started with beer, the girls with their fruity drinks, and then there was me. I ordered two shots of patron. They were disgusting. They went down so roughly and made me catch my breath. After that I ordered a beer. Two of the three other guys had already started drinking before we got there so we were at about the same level of "drunkeness." The girls were drunk quickly, of course. More beer and more liquor and we were all chatting and then Beyoncé started playing throughout the club, after the band had taken a break. The girls were gone, and just the four of us guys remained at the table, talking about sports, beer, vaginas, and checking out random girls around the bar. Funnily enough we were all singing along and dancing at the table too. Alcohol makes making friends so much easier. Then the one guy asked us if we wanted anything from the bar and I knew I was drunk already but I said "fuck it, I'll go with you!" The two of us went to the bar, not wanting to wait for the drink waitress who was assigned to our table and one of the girls came up and asked what we were doing, (I don't just standing at the bar, what do you think?) and we told her and she said she wanted a shot and next thing you know, the guy was buying shots for everyone as well as beer for us guys. He was cool. The shots were a super mixture of liquor that left it as a milky substance with a cinnamon undertone. It was delicious. We did that thing where the group puts all their shots in the middle of them and screams, it was awesome.  We all stayed on the dance floor from that point on, and it was the best time. Even after the shitty band came back out we still danced and went wild. As the night came to an end I realized I was still a little drunk, even after chugging two water bottles. After saying my goodbyes to everyone, I walked back towards the parking garage. I hope I see them all again. I actually liked them all so much. (The one guy tripped the other, and he literally just landed on the floor and got back up, it was so funny.) I sat in the driver's seat for five minutes staring at nothing before climbing into my backseat taking out my contacts, (I had my contact case and glasses in my jacket) and laying down. I woke up maybe 20 minutes later to a guy screaming from outside my car that I hit him and dented his car. He was the car parked in front of me. I literally sat up and stared at him, knowing I did no such thing, and he got in his car and drove away. By this point I was alright to drive home, so that's what I did. It was almost 4 a.m. when I walked into my house. Best night in weeks, hands down.

New Years

Thursday January 1

Here we are 2015! 2014 was a rather eventful year for me, so much happened and I really learned a lot about myself and what I want and who I want to be. We are always told to embrace our differences, and I am finally beginning to do just that. Somehow over the course of the year, I became an "anti-conformist." But honestly enough of that boring, mundane shit. Let's talk about last night. Last night got a little too real and it was the first time in a long time that I have felt like the 21-year-old college student that I am. I guess I should start at the beginning.

Since summer I had this grandiose plan for New Years but of course life happened, and those plans fell through. Basically what it boils down to is that I forgot to request off of work, stupid I know. I work at Target and as far as jobs go, it's not difficult at all. I'm in the Electronics department so basically I get to be the geek I was born to be on a daily basis. One of my favorite pastimes is explaining Wi-Fi to the elderly. Veering away from my Target tangent, (check out that alliteration, huh?) the New Years Eve plan was as follows: get a huge group of people together, get a hotel room and split the cost of the room and booze all around. Said room would be in the heart of Downtown Buffalo so it would only be a quick skip and a step to see the ball drop at midnight, then beneath the display of fireworks and among the cheering and screaming I would share my very first New Years kiss with a complete stranger, who would then come back to the room with us and we would talk until sunrise and then go out for coffee, or have sex. In either order. That was the plan. Sounds perfect right?  Instead, I worked until Target closed at 9 p.m. And I went to a friend's house to hang out with her and another friend. The three of us literally hung out as we usually would and it was so average. It wasn't what I hoped for but that doesn't necessarily mean it sucked. I've begun to accept that as I grow older unless you really put the effort into something usually it'll end up boring at some point. 

I decided to play with the cards I was dealt and I still had half a bottle of Bacardi Mango Infusion leftover from Thanksgiving break. It was one of those really large bottles, you know? So with that bottle in hand  I set off to my friend's house totally expecting to return home that night. I should've known better. Once I arrived both of my compadres were just lounging on the couches in the living room. I could tell with a glance that one of them was already trashed. They had drunk a bottle of wine while I was at work. After the initial greetings we decided to start taking shots. First shot went down too easy, so I did another and then we all came to the joint realization that what we thought was vodka in my bottle was actually water. One of my younger siblings, (who still have yet to own up to it) had taken my alcohol and replaced it with water. By this point I had already made up my mind that I didn't want to be sober tonight, so I took to Google to search for places that were open and sold alcohol. That's how I ended up at a gas station and walking out with an 18-pack of beer and a very large "Mang-O-Rita." Back at the house the "trashed girl," got even trashier to the point that we cut her off and as she reached for the still mostly full Mang-O-Rita I stupidly did what I could to stop her from drinking more: I chugged the whole thing. This was what opened Pandora's Box and from there it was past the point of no return. Beer after beer, I could hear myself starting to make less and less sense with every word that left my lips. And then, midnight struck and through the TV and the two girls all you heard was a chorus of "Happy New Years!" and screaming. I simply sat there in silence staring at the phone in my hands waiting for something, anything. Maybe something from my big crush of the semester, I don't know. I couldn't tell you, I think I was just waiting for something out of the ordinary. And when that didn't come, I tossed my phone aside and chugged three beers in rapid succession. Both girls noticed my shift in demeanor and started to ask me what was wrong, and I kept changing the subject because I honestly didn't know. I think it was because I was comparing what happened to what could've been. From this point I was drunk, and it was enough to dodge their questions and to feign happiness. I was so drunk that I didn't even care when both decided to go to sleep and I quickly followed suit because the night was over. And that was it. I drove home this morning in silence, hoping that next year isn't so lackluster and that maybe I will get that New Years kiss either from somebody I actually care deeply for or from that magical stranger that would become my destiny.